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Actual Hitchhiker Poems from the Roadside

     Below are the poems I have gleaned from the light poles over the years.  Some could only be written by stranded hitchhikers, others are likely unique and amazing or disturbing, others are taken from song lyrics or famous poems, and still others are just little ditties likely made up on the spot. 

     The first set of this poems are presented here in order of the date they were logged.  The last grouping, are of the “Here I sit, brokenhearted” style, a la verses one might find in any given bathroom stall anywhere in the USA and perhaps anywhere around the globe.  That form of verse is often referred to as bathroom poetry or shithouse poetry, of which Alan Dundes (1934-2005), a folklorist at Berkeley, coined the term “latrinalia” in 1965 to refer to graffiti found in restrooms http://dpg.lib.berkeley.edu/webdb/anthpubs/search?all=&volume=34&journal=5&item=10

     The word is derived from merging the word latrine, a type of bathroom, with the suffix -alia, which signifies a collection of something of a given genre.  The difference here with most of these verses found on light poles is their having a waiting hitchhiker’s bent to them, for which is being coined the term “latroadalia,” after latrinalia, but by merging the terms “latrine,” “road,” and the suffix, “-alia.”

Actual Hitchhiker Poems from the Roadside

     Need a ride
     Need plenty of money
     Need a soft bed
     Need plenty of food

     8/23/92, I-15N, Las Vegas , NV, at Sahara Ave on-ramp

     "Your House Ore Mine"
      Geographical in dominations!
      Our earth is a womb for souls
      More shores to come.

      10/29/94, I-15S Baker, CA , at Kelbaker Rd on-ramp

     I'm headed nowhere, but everywhere
     But someday I might be headed
     Somewhere but nowhere
     Love to all whites
     Maria(?) 7/7/77
     Hoboken NJ to
     LA Calif and then some maybe

     10/29/94, I-15S Baker, CA , at Kelbaker Rd on-ramp

     Here at Dawn
     Too tired to yawn
     Another day has started

     10/29/94, I-15S Baker, CA ,at Kelbaker Rd on-ramp

     Curt Byrne
     Just got out of jail
     On my way home
     To see my gal

     8/13/95, Route 58E, at downtown Bakersfield, CA, on-ramp

     Beautiful girls pass me by
     I'm not so ugly, wonder why?
     Well here comes one and [cross-out]
     Hey, BYE

     8/13/95, Route 99S, Bakersfield, CA, at Panama Rd on-ramp

     Thunderfoot
     alias SEF ERICSSON
     Left my home around Santa Ana
     Headed for the State of Indiana
     5-9-80

     12-30-95, I-40E, Barstow, CA, Main St. on-ramp

     By setting of sun
     In various tones
     When you arrive here
     You may find my bones

     12-30-95, I-10W, Lordsburg, NM, Exit 20 on-ramp

     Help
     No hope
     No dope
     No ride
     We tried
     And died
     Scott    +  Greg      3/6/78
     (Conn)   (Australia)

     7/7/96, Route 99S, Farmerville/Exeter, CA, on-ramp

     No war
     No KKK
     No facist
          USA

     7/7/96, Route 99N, Tulane,  Medford Field on-ramp

     Dear Dad
     No Mon
     No Fun
     Dear Son
     Too Bad
     So Sad
     Your Dad

     7/12/96, I-5N at SR 152, Santa Nella, CA, on-ramp

     Sharie + Kat + Buddy Ford
     Cookin in the sun
     Who says hitchin ain’t lots of fun
     See you at the gathering
     5-29-87

     7/12/96, I-5N at SR 152, Santa Nella, CA, on-ramp
[Note: the "gathering" referred to here likely was the Rainbow Gathering which, in 1987, occurred in Graham County, North Carolina]
 
     Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
     Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
     And sold it all
     (And went to Hawaii)

     7/12/96, Route 99N, Fresno, CA, at Olive Ave on-ramp

     If I had a smile
     For every mile
     I would be laughing
     For a long while
     Charles Joyner
     Dillon, SC

     8/3/96, US-101S, Sunnyvale, CA, at Mathilda St. (North) on-ramp

     Whistle
     If all the world were marbles
     There'd be no room to play
     Or kids to use em.
     Aren't you glad the world turned out this way?
     E Fox `68

     8/3/96, US-101S, Sunnyvale, CA, at Mathilda St. (North) on-ramp

     I came from a house
     Not a home
     Where parents is a name
     I want not fortune or fame
     But a little kindness and a little love

     8/4/96, SR-237W /N, Sunnyvale, CA, at Mathilda St on-ramp

     I wandered thru the forest
     Till I came upon a fork.
     I took the path less traveled
     And it has changed my life
     N.P.R.

     8/4/96, SR-237W /N, Sunnyvale, CA, at Mathilda St. on-ramp
     [after The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost]

     Morning life
     Breeds softness
     Into daylight agony

     8/11/96, US-101S, Sunnyvale, CA, at Lawrence Expressway on-ramp

     People keep saying stay
     How can I when I got no place
     To lay my tired head
     Sorry I might be dead
     Get a ride instead
     Nirvana

     8/11/96, US-101S, Sunnyvale, CA, at Lawrence Expressway on-ramp

     March 5th
     Do you know the way from San Jose
     I'm going south so far I need a car to ride the way...
     It's just too fucking far to walk
     Brazo from Ventura

     8/11/96, US-101S, Sunnyvale, CA, at Lawrence Expressway on-ramp

     I was born down on a chicken farm near Nashville Tenn
     Wern't nobody there, but a sky full of air
     17 billion chickens and me.
     Then one day I said hey, hey, hey,
     Think I'll drop some LSD.
     It blew my mind
     I got real kind and set all my chickens free.
     There were chickens in the fields, chickens in the barn,
     Chickens in the cauliflower, chickens in the corn,
     Chickens driving Cadillacs to Washington
     When I set my chickens free
     Tom Martin
     Memorial Day 74

     
8/11/96, US-101S, Sunnyvale, CA, at Lawrence Expressway on-ramp
pass the chicken
     Great expectations
     Great disappointments
     Little expectations
     Little disappointments
     No expectations
     No disappointments
     Anonomous
[sic]
     8/11/96, US-101S, Sunnyvale, CA, at Lawrence Expressway on-ramp

     This is a fucked
     This is a fucked
     This is a fucked
     This is a fucked place to hitch hike
     Maynard - Hessilberg
     to Santa Cruz March-70
     We can't get a ride so we're going to get stoned.

     8-20-96, I-880S, Santa Clara, CA, at First St (east) on-ramp

     May a great thumb
     Come out of the sky
     And squash you basteds
[sic]
     Passing me by
     G. Greene

     8/24/96, Route 99N, Modesto, CA, at Route132 on-ramp

     Love every person
     Love everyone for no reason
     It's all in fun
     Love your mother, sister, brother, lover, father, one another
     We're together; not just people
     Love animals and vegetables
     Gulls, bulls, squirrels, camels, owls, devils, angels, and cannibals
     All love, love, love
     Eric Snapping

     8/27/96, I-280N Palo Alto, CA, at Page Mill Rd on-ramp

     Where lies the eyes
     That see the butterfly
     And capture all his color?
     That thread the sunlight through his wings
     Improvising with the wind?
     The eyes that pin his pattern spectrum
     Mounted on the sky
     That starch his spirit and fix his frame
     Sealed in symatry
[sic]
     Where the eyes as fibers in the thread
     Weave through ultraviolet
     Where the eyes compainted
[sic?] in starch and glue
     Diffuse the fading parchment
     There are eyes that lie beyond the reflections
     There are eyes that be amidst refractions
     Where lies the eyes that see the butterfly?
     -CGN
[?]
     August 27, 1996, I-280N, Palo Alto, California, Page Mill Road on-ramp

     My name is Groovy Venus
     My travels are far
     Where may I rest,
     Where
     But lord is always near
     Groovy Venus

     8/29/96, US-101N , Mountain View, CA , at Shoreline Rd (south) on ramp

     Son of love
     Son of light
     Son of man
     Son of might
     Son of faith
     Son of sight
     Son of truth
     Son of right
     Son of God
     Son of Holy Knight
     Jesus

     US-101S, San Jose/Santa Clara County, CA, at Blossom Hill Rd

     Yesterday is faded
     Tomorrow is opaque
     Today is luminescent

     9/3/96, US-101S, E. Palo Alto, CA, at Univ. Ave (north) on ramp

     Electric gardens of growing sound
     Passing through your head
     Follow it off up and down
     And you will never leave the ____
[?]
     9/14/96, I-280S, Palo Alto, CA, at Alpine Rd on-ramp

     Pig Nixon you're better off dead
     You get no peace of mind
     You're bound to fall
     `Cause you'll never get us all
     And lord we're gonna hang you high

     9/18/96, SR-17N, Los Gatos, CA, a t Monte Serra /Downtown (west cross road) on-ramp

     Totalic (to lick?) the barbiturate
     Sleeps death
     Downer, Downer
     Sleep speed for breath
     Acid crawls for
     Fish or flesh
     Hashish lulls all
     Bangladesh
     O cocaine lushes
     Or crystal hushes
     O spend your dimes
     For dime-bag rushes
     Pop top bottles of TNT
     I'd sooner cross the DMZ
     
     Or spill my guts for Viet Cong
     Than have you know
     That I am wrong
     I lie too well
     For you to see
     My gums are lined
     With STP

     
12/27/96, I-35 North, Denton, Texas, at Exit 469 on-ramp
robbing Robin and other Rhymes
     Chuck was here
     That's no lie
     I've been here
     Since July

     12/27/96, I-35 North, Denton, Texas, at Exit 469 on-ramp

     Juergen Daniel and Mark Brown
     Waited here too damn long!
     Everyone who passes by better fucking throw a rod
     For they can just suck our dong
     From Venice, CA

     12/27/96, I-35 North, Denton, Texas, at Exit 469 on-ramp

     I’d rather stay here
     With all the madmen
     Then perish with the sad men roaming free.
     And I’d rather play here
     With all the madmen
     For I’m quite content
     Their [sic] all the same as me.
                                    ↖
                                     Another day
                                     Another ramp
     Welcome to our nightmare
     Anita K.
     Anita W. 8/29/76

     
4/2/99, I-405S (San Diego Freeway), Irvine, CA, at Culver Dr. on-ramp
     [From All the Madmen David Bowie]

     Friendship share’s
     The spirit of the sky
     And the splendor
     Of a new day
     ADW 76

     4/2/99, I-405S (San Diego Freeway), Irvine, CA, at Culver Dr on ramp

     Like the time I met her. She loves me still
     She gives me peace of mind and soul
     And gives herself to me

     4/2/99 , I-405S, Irvine, CA , Laguna Freeway/Rt. 133 on-ramp

     I was here - west [____]ward bound
     Where it’s warmer that I’ve found
     Those who stay here
     Try to get their brains are hazy
     And here you’re really crazy
     -annonomous
[sic]
     8/16/2000, US-101S, Santa Maria , CA, at Santa Maria Way on-ramp

     There’s a race that don’t fit in
     A race that can’t stay still
     So they break the hearts of kith and kin
     And travel (roam) the world at will
     Robert Forrest

     
12/31/01, I-84E, near Maybrook, NY, at Route 208 on-ramp
     [from The Men That Don't Fit In, a poem by Robert W. Service, ca. 1906]

     In the land of eternal darkness
     The ship of the sun is drawn
     by the Grateful Dead
     Keep on keepin on

     [words from Egyptian Book of the Dead]
     Marc Fast, Richmond, VA
     1-4-83 Dead but not grateful
     7/23/02, US-101S, Salinas, CA, No. Main St/SR-183 Split, on destination sign in middle of the road

     Who do you love
     Who do you need
     Who do you want
     Who do you do 
(?)
     2/1/03, I-8E, Yuma, AZ, at US-95

     Requiem for a Freak
     We all will die soon or late
     For death is all mans final fate
     But when I go
     All I ask
     Let me not linger
     Let me go fast
     And when you hear that I am gone
     Don’t weep for me that’s all wrong
     Just come to my funeral so stoned you can’t see
     That’s the way I want it to be
     You don’t even have to kneel and pray
     Just smoke a joint at my grave
     For I am bound to
[illegible] and [illegible]     
     Where there’s no pigs to hassle me
     So if born to be wild
[illegible] my mind
     And suddenly you feel really high
     And the sweet smell of pot is flowing down from the sky
     You’ll know its
[illegible]
     [illegible] saying [early?]
     2/1/03, I-8E, Yuma, AZ, at US-95
[Searching online, this web page from someone called "Beak" was discovered containing this posted but otherwise unpublished poem @ http://freakishbeak.com/pdfs/requiem%20for%20a%20freak.pdf]
requiem_for_a_freak.pdf
File Size: 6 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

     No dope
     No hope
     No ride
     I died

     2/01/03 I-8, East, Yuma, AZ, @ US 95

     Proverbs 14:12                      Actual:
     There is a way                       (“There is a way
     which seemeth r____             which seemeth right,
     Unto a man, but                     unto man        
     the end there leadeth(?)         but the end thereof are the ways of death”)
     2/01/03 I-8, East, Yuma, AZ, @ US 95

     Tork
     Baby ya know I need all your love
     Wish I could see the one I’m speaking of

     2/1/03, I-8, East, Winterhaven, CA, a t Winterhaven Dr. on-ramp

     “Like a steam locomotive
      Rolling down the track,
      She’s gone, she’s gone –
      And nothin’s gonna bring her back:
      SHE’S GONE!!”
      [After Grateful Dead song]
      tiome whalewise
      7 - 80
      + to big sur & north! +
     Hope we don’t wait too long

     
6/21/03 (Summer Solstice), Cal-1/PCH-North, San Luis Obispo, CA, at Cal Poly State Univ. campus

Picture
     Love is the answer
     I can’t think of anything to say.
     I’m just movin’ to LA
     Ray Rey______
(?) 11/20/88
     6/21/03 (Summer Solstice), Cal-1/PCH-North, San Luis Obispo, CA, at Cal Poly State Univ. campus
     
     Bitch of a hitch
     Jeremy   7/6/00

     8/01/03, I-5N, Woodland, CA, at Cal Rt. 113 South

     People who write on poles
     Are like me,
     People who write on poles    Ha Ha

     8/01/03, I-880N (San Jose) @ Cal237 Split

     Rowe rowe
     Rowe your boat
     Gently down I-40
     Merrily merrily down to LA,
     Yea yea yea

     5/13/04, I-40W, Grants, NM @ Exit 81, Route 547/53 on-ramp

     Woe, woe, woe is me
     Lord what have I done to thee?
     To stick me in a place like this,
     Nothing to eat, no place to piss

     (drawn sad happy face)
     5/13/04, I-40W, Grants, NM @ Exit 81, Route 547/53 on-ramp

     Potent Minorities
     Winter’s Catharsis
     Journey to St. Louis

     8/4/04-40E, Gallup, NM, @ US-491 (former US-666) Munoz Dr. on-ramp

     Sometime in May
     I passed this way
     Hurray hurray
                        J.
     5-17 [or 18]/77

     7/24/04, I-70W, Denver @ Pecos St on-ramp

     Bite the Big Apple
     Don’t mind the maggots
     This town is in tatters
     I’m shattered
     My brain’s been battered

     [from Rolling Stones Shattered]
     11/24/08, I-70 @ I-15 Split, Cove Fort, UT, Exit 132

     Roses are red
     Violets are blue
     We’ve been here a while
     And so might you

     8/29/09, I-70 @ I-15 Split, Cove Fort, UT, Exit 132

     Dope will get you threw
     Times of no money
     Better than money will get you threw
     Times of no dope!
     Captain Fantastic

     
8/30/09, I-25S, Pueblo, CO at Exit 94 on-ramp
Picture
Picture
     We gave dope
     We have hope
     We have no ride 

     8/30/09, I-25S, Pueblo, CO at Exit 94 on-ramp


Cosmic Denny
With a silver penny
10/24/91

8/30/09, I-25S Wagon Mound, NM @ exit 387 on-ramp



Picture
♫                 ♪
“Take a Dive
On I-25”

8/30/09, I-25S, Las Vegas, NM @ exit 343 on-ramp


Picture
     Remember
     That
     Its
     A
     Hard
     World
     Very
     Very
     Hard
     Yes
     Hard
     It
     Is
     Hard

     8/30/09, I-25S, Las Vegas, NM @ exit 343 on-ramp


Picture
     The only dif. from a
     Cowboy and a cow
     One’s a steer
     One’s a queer

     7/27/12, I-80W Elko, NV @ exit 298 on-ramp

     I am the boy
     Who can enjoy
     Invisibility
     J. Joyce

     7/27/12, I-80W Elko, NV @ exit 298 on-ramp


Picture

7/3/99, I-80E Winnemucca East Exit on ramp


      I sat for forty days
     To think of different ways
     To get a ride from this fucking place
     These assholes the human race
     Mark S.
     7/20/89

     7/29/12, I-80 Elko, NV at Exit 303 (East Elko) on-ramp

     You are broke,
     I’ve got bread
     Dope, beer,
     Safeway
     Is right there
     But you got water
     Milk, bread, meat
     I have a stove?
     You’re d___?
     You’re dead meat
     I’m stuffed

     7/29/12, I-80E Elko, NV at exit 301

     I did as I wanted
     I suggest you do the same,
     Seek the fortune,
     Fuck the fame.
     
     Better hay there
     Than Byers Colo
     Too(?)
     Dave
     On the way to
     FLA
     10-__-83

     
12/14/2012, I-70E, Byers CO at Exit 315 on-ramp
Picture
     Here I am
     On the road again
     There I go again
     On the stage

     [from Turn the Page, Bob Seger 1973]
   
 12/15/2012, I-70E Denver, CO @ Colorado St/CO Rt. 2, Exit 272 on-ramp
*************************************************************************
“Lat-road-alia”
     Poems that are similar in format to bathroom-focused rhymes, but with a hitchhiker's frame of reference.


      Here I sit
     All broken-hearted.
     Tryed
[sic] to hitch a ride
     But only farted.
     What more can I say,
     What more can I do
     Except you asshole
     Are stuck here too.

      8/13/95, Route 99N (near Bakersfield, CA) at Pumpkin Center/Route 119 on-ramp

     Since your reading these words of wit
     You know this town is shit
   
 The Toadstool
     3/8/80 [smiling mushroom drawn]

     12-30-95, I-10W, Lordsburg, NM, Exit 20 on-ramp

     Hear [sic] I set
     Broken harted
[sic]
     Tried to shit or ride
     And only farted
     4/16/89
        17
        18
        19
        20 Fuck

     7/12/96, Route 99N Fresno, CA, at Olive Ave on-ramp

     Dave Morgan
     West VA to LA
     With dope there's hope
     With booze you lose

     8/3/96, US-101S, Sunnyvale, CA, at Mathilda St (North) on-ramp

     He who writes on hiway poles
     Stuffs his shit rite up his nose

     8/3/96, US-101S, Sunnyvale, CA, at Mathilda St (North) on-ramp

     A prayer for those who hike here
     May the next ride buy you a beer
     And if you have no luck standing here
     Have a seat and think of a beer.

     8/4/96, SR-237W /N, Sunnyvale, CA, at Mathilda St on-ramp

     I was shit on a rock and hachit [hatched?]
     Lay in the sun
     Sworn to fun
     Love to none

     Duke Wayne Ellsworth 12-12-82
     8-23-96, I-280S, Cupertino, CA, at Sunnyvale-Saratoga Rd on-ramp

     Chowchilla Mike and Danny was here
     But now they're gone
     They left there [sic] names to carry on.
     Those who knew them knew them well
     Those who didn't can go to hell

     8/24/96, Route 99N, Turlock CA, at Landers Ave on-ramp

     Here I stand broken hearted
     Without love because I'm too open hearted
     Love the Lord   Allen Powers
     
     8/24/96, Route 99N, Turlock CA, at Central Ave on-ramp

     Gay is a gas.
     Don't fight it do it.  
     Don't bite it chew it
     And there's money in it too.
     I hope to get a ride soon.
     You shouldn't keep the customer waiting
     I've heard
     Bye Ferdina 1$75.

     8/27/96, I-280N, Los Altos Hills, CA, at El Monte Rd on-ramp

     Here I am
     Stoned and grumpy
     This is where
     That fucker dumped me

     9/15/9 6, US-101N, Gilroy, CA, at Monterey Rd on ramp

     Here I stand in need of a ride
     My backpack by my side
     Wishing I had one to roast
     Cause I'm bound for the east coast
     Drew 2/24/88
?
     9/18/96, SR-17S, Campbell, CA, at Hamilton Ave on-ramp

     If this is a bad dream
     Wake me up by tickling
     My clitty until I cream

     7/27/97, I-40E, Kingman, AZ, at Andy Devine Ave on-ramp

     I’ve been rejected
     And I’m disgusted
     Been sitting here so long
     I think I’ve rusted
     Life on the road
     Can be pretty nice
     Except when your ears
     Start turning to ice

     4/2/99, I-405S, Irvine, CA, Laguna Freeway/Rt. 133 on-ramp

     In sumer when the shawes be sheyne
     and leves be large and longe
     yt ys ful merrie in faire foreste
     to here the fowlys songe
     to see the deere drawe to the dale
     and leve the hilles hee
     and shadowe hem in the leves grene
     under the grene wode tre

     7/12/97,I-10E, Waterman Ave/Redlands Boulevard cloverleaf on-ramp

robbing robbin and other rhymes
     My car broke down 
     I’m re[p?]remanded
     Here I stand 
     Totally stranded
     JW 10-26-86

     4/3/99, I-405N, Irvine, CA, at MacArthur Blvd on-ramp

     Heck’s Beck
     Lead a trek
     To find Mecca
     You’ll be a wreck

     7/3/99, I-80W, Carlin, NV, Exit 280 on ramp

     Born on a Mt
     Raised in a cave
     Truckin & fuckin
     Is all that I crave

     7/3/99, I-80E, Battle Mountain East, Exit #233) on-ramp

     For you who read these words of wit
     Better get ready for a little sit
     And what to do with idle time
     Maybe have a drink of wine
     Under yonder board it does lay
     I hope it will comfort your stay
                                                      It was good wine

     7/12/99, Kettleman City, California, at I-5 North on-ramp at State Route 41 interchange

     Hoyt and Norris
     Having fun
     12-9-91

     7/13/99, I-5S, NW Fresno County, Panoche Rd on-ramp

     Life is good
     Life is cool
     But don’t get stuck 
     In Chowchilla fool!!?

     7/13/99, Route 99S, Chowchilla, CA, Robertson Blvd/Ave 26 on-ramp

     Smokin tuff
     All through the day
     We smoked it all
     So here we lay
     We hope tomorrow’s a better day
     That no longer
     Here we’ll lay
     Steve and “Thee” [Thez?]
     Washington to S.L.O. - CA to WA

     7/13/99, I-5N @ Kettleman City/Cal 41 on ramp

     Son of a bitch
     I feel as wet as
     A watery ditch 
     3/4/71 Mike

     7/23/0 2, US-101S, Salinas, CA , at North Main St/SR-183 Split (on destination sign in middle of road)

     Dorri was here
     And now is gone
     But leaves her soul
     To carry on ↖
                    8-14-7
5
     2/1/03, I-8E, Yuma, AZ, at US- 95

     Here we are
     Broke & Busted
     Lost & Found
     Can’t be trusted

     2/2/03, I-8E, Gila Bend, AZ, at AZ-85S/ Exit 115 on-ramp

     Here I stand
     in a cloud of vapor
     Some jerk stoled [sic] my toilet paper
     I cannot stay
     I cannot linger
     Look out asshole
     here comes my finger

     8/4/04, I-40W, Tucumcari, NM, Exit 329 on-ramp

     Here I sit
     Broken hearted
     Did the last bong hit
     And the rides didn’t start yet

   
 7/23/13, I-80E at Golconda, NV, Exit 194 on-ramp
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